I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him “I wish I had your will power..”
I took my Biology exam last Friday.. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Young Blacks" and "Romanian Gypos" were not the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said “sorry about the wait.” I said “don't worry dear, you might lose it eventually.”
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said “Any change?” I said “No, you're still black”.
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better !
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut.
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts down to him “Where am I ?” The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. "You can't fool me, you're in that basket up there."
I had a Trivia competition in the bag until the very last question ....... which I got wrong. The question was ‘Where do women have the curliest hair ?’ Apparently the correct answer was Fiji .
A woman has a medical at the Doctors; “you are grossly overweight” he says. ”I want a 2nd opinion”, she exclaimed ” OK- you're bloody ugly as well”
