Author Topic: Microsoft v. Ford Motor Co  (Read 1203 times)

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Offline Carnut

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Microsoft v. Ford Motor Co
« on: February 14, 2013, 04:18:08 AM »
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1... For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2... Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway  for no reason whatsoever.  You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4... Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

I love the next one!

7... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8... Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language you can barely understand how to fix your car yourself!
Interests in life:  Cars, cars, cars - oh and ..er..cars

Offline Otto Puzzell

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Re: Microsoft v. Ford Motor Co
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2013, 04:36:03 AM »
This joke has really evolved, since the 90's...

Quote
There's word in business circles that the computer industry likes to measure itself against the Big Three auto-makers. The comparison goes this way: If automotive technology had kept pace with Silicon Valley, motorists could buy a V-32 engine that goes 10,000 m.p.h. or a 30-pound car that gets 1,000 miles to the gallon — either one at a sticker price of less than $ 50. Detroit's response: "OK. But who would want a car that crashes twice a day?"
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp#5dBDxCjS8CpOT86U.99
You wanna be the man, you gotta Name That Car!

Offline Carnut

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Re: Microsoft v. Ford Motor Co
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2013, 04:57:27 AM »
This joke has really evolved, since the 90's...

Quote
There's word in business circles that the computer industry likes to measure itself against the Big Three auto-makers. The comparison goes this way: If automotive technology had kept pace with Silicon Valley, motorists could buy a V-32 engine that goes 10,000 m.p.h. or a 30-pound car that gets 1,000 miles to the gallon — either one at a sticker price of less than $ 50. Detroit's response: "OK. But who would want a car that crashes twice a day?"
Read more at http://www.snopes.com/humor/jokes/autos.asp#5dBDxCjS8CpOT86U.99

Yes, it's a really ancient one but still funny!
And I bet there are those out there who haven't seen it (the ones who live on Mars, I mean!)
Interests in life:  Cars, cars, cars - oh and ..er..cars