Keep these handy...
ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: eskimo pi
2000 pounds of chinese soup: won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond.
weight an evangelist carries with god: 1 billigram
time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the twilight zone: 1 rod sterling
half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz
basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
shortest distance between two jokes: a straight line.
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 fig newton
1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
