Here is a little article about those who choose to spend their weekends at car shows.
See how many you recognise
Car Show People
For a few years there has been an article on the internet about “forum warriors” basically identifying the different personality types that inhabit internet discussion boards. Well these types don't just exist in cyberspace – they also are very prevalent in the strange world known as car shows... having spend a good deal of time at these both as a punter and an exhibitor I think I have seen both sides.
So (slightly tongue-in-cheek) see how many of the following you either know or recognise – you might even be one yourself. They are split into two groups – the visitor and the exhibitor.
VISITORS
The casual punter
This is the person who gets bored on a Sunday afternoon and finds a local car show to go and visit. They don't really have any interest in the cars but need to get out of the house to avoid some unpleasant task (cleaning?). A typical punter is the one who comes up to an exhibitor at a show and asks the really obvious questions.
Mr I used to have one of those
These are renowned for being able to stand and talk about an exhibitors vehicle for about 10 minutes boring you stupid (usually in front of a load of fellow punters). The best reply to these people is to wait for them to go on for a few minutes and then inform them that they aren't looking at the car they thought they were. It is even better when you can do this with a car that is not yours!
Mr Did you know
Someone who does unfortunately know the car throughly and can even give you all the production data, recalls etc. Whilst it can be interesting at the start of a conversation after 15 minutes you are hoping someone will come and rescue you – mobile will ring, someone get run over, anything just get me out of here!
Mr Did you know part 2
This is the one who comes up to you and proceeds to lecture you on all the faults in the cars paintwork, the wrong type of plug leads, that screw is 1/16 of a turn out from where the factory put this. The problem with this is trying as the exhibitor not to punch the irritating little ................
EXHIBITORS
Mr Concours
You know them, you might even be one. As soon as they are parked at the show the first job is open up the boot and get out all the polishing cloths, polishes, potions etc. Instead of doing the logical first action (find a toilet or get a drink!) their priority is to remove the tiniest flake of dirt from the car and make it immaculate again. I have even heard of some of these people driving at 20mph to avoid getting dirt in the wheel arches.
The Magpie
They are characterised by their love of all things shiny – no matter what it is if it is shiny it will be purchased and fitted with pride to their (usually) clapped out old car. An example of this are the people who buy polished stainless steel header tanks (why at least with a plastic one you can see if it needs filling!)
Rat look
For these people cleaning is too much work and no paint with some rust is the preferred colour scheme. Although mechanically the cars are usually pretty good. This group seems to have been growing in the last few years. A recent trend (in the UK) is for rusty bonnets on cars.
Mr Did you know
They do exist on both sides of the line. It happens when you innocently ask a little question about the car and the owner starts on his sales talk and can even give you all the production data, recalls etc.
Mr Less weight/more power
It was a bit difficult to separate these two categories out so I have put them together. I will quote a person I know – he spent £30,000 on a ultra lightweight sprint car featuring titanium bolts, drilled chassis extra thin bodywork but it still wasn't fast enough so he was after reducing the weight or getting more power – but he was 3 stone overweight... I think he sank another £2000 on reducing the weight by about 2 stone – well.
