Author Topic: We Have A Winner!  (Read 2899 times)

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Offline MG

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We Have A Winner!
« on: December 19, 2010, 09:19:22 AM »
Back in the 80's, I was heavily involved in autocrossing, to the point where my entire yearly schedule revolved around autocross dates. I was an active member of a sports car club (remember them?) based in Fall River, Massachusetts. There was another club that ran it's events at the University of Rhode Island in southern Rhode Island. Members of both clubs often ran each other's events.

About that time, the people at Chrysler had a product that was largely ignored by the market place. And for good reason! It was a POS that no self respecting car guy would have anything to do with. It was called the Dodge Rampage.



And so, some geniuses at Dodge decide to unload a bunch of Rampages by giving them away! That should tell you how slow sales were. And the method chosen for the give away was to hold a series of autocrosses and award a Rampage to the winner in each state. Details for the contest were announced in full page ads in Road & Track.

As it happens, I was an avid Road & Track reader. And an autocrosser. And I lived in the smallest state in the Union, giving me a clearly unfair advantage over contestants from places like California and Texas. Not sure if Alaska was even a state back then!  So I decided to enter.   :idea:

This required filling out an official entry form at one of the three participating Dodge dealers in Rhode Island. I went to all three. One dealer informed me that there WAS no such contest!  And if there was, they knew nothing about it. When I produced a copy of the ad, they went scurrying about and found a package from Dodge lying around, unopened, in the parts department. I got the job of setting up the showroom display. Then I duly deposited my entry form in it and left.

Apparently, no one else submitted an entry at that particular dealership, because about a month later, they called me up and said I was the official winner from their store and oh by the way, could I be ready to compete in the statewide autocross at URI in 2 days?  I allowed as how I would be happy to attend!   ;D

And so I showed up, with my helmet and driving gloves. The first thing I noticed is that the URI club (which had been contracted by Dodge to run the event) had laid out a course that was exactly the same as the one I had competed on just a few weeks earlier.  Then I found out my two fellow contestants consisted of a young girl and a retired carpenter with three finger tips missing from his left hand.  :D  Neither had ever driven competitively before or had any idea what an autocross was all about. They were startled by the idea that anyone would need a helmet for this. I started to feel pretty confident at this point. 

Each of the three dealerships brought a Rampage from stock. Each was equipped with the ubiquitous Chrysler 2.2 liter 4 banger and 3 speed automatic transmission. We each got three runs apiece. I flogged the poor little Rampage around the course, making the wimply stock tires squeal in protest. I heard the GM from my store bitching loudly to the Dodge factory rep on hand that they were going to need to replace the tires and who was going to pay for THAT!?!?!

At the end of the day, I was crowned the official champion for Rhode Island, having bettered my nearest opponents time by more than 20 seconds.   :o

Of course, I had no desire to actually own a Rampage. I wanted the cash. So I negotiated a deal with "my" store. They cut me a check and all was right with the world. The following February, I got a 1099 from Chrysler stating the value of my prize for tax purposes. 2 weeks after that, I got ANOTHER 1099 from Chrysler that was several thousand dollars more and instructing me to destroy the first one, that the person who prepared it had been fired and that the second one was the one I should use for tax purposes. I of course ignored this and reported the lower amount. It's been over 30 years now and I haven't heard anything from the IRS, so I guess I am safe!   :P

But that was one long strange adventure in the life of this car guy!    :lmao:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!

Offline Ultra

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2010, 10:19:50 AM »
Great story!
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Offline woodinsight

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2010, 10:21:58 AM »
Incredible - I've never heard of anything similar - great read to lighten up a dull Sunday.

Offline MG

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2010, 11:59:26 AM »
Glad you enjoyed it, Malcolm. It was truly a surreal experience.  I never could figure out WHY the godawful Rampage would be featured in any ads in Road & Track. Certainly the R&T readers where about as far away from the target market as you could get. And the idea of subjecting the Rampage to ANY sort of competition was ludicrous, especially when equipped with the automatic transmission. When the engine was revved up hard with the brakes on, the resulting acceleration was akin to that of the Queen Mary leaving the pier. And the handling was similiar, too!    ;D :hah:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!

Offline woodinsight

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2010, 12:41:46 PM »
a hair raising experience in more ways than one!
Best wishes for the festive season MG and I hope that 2011 will be good for you

Offline ImpishGrin

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2010, 03:38:15 PM »
Outstanding story MG, I loved it :D

One thing that makes me wonder - what was wrong with the Rampage? I agree that it's been very overlooked, even obscure nowadays. But I kinda like its looks and concept, it's like a Subaru BRAT, only with a better front ;) Was it a matter of finish quality? Poor engines? Or was it just too small for the size-obsessed Americans? ;D

I've read a few owner's opinions and they say that it's a light car that handles like a sports car. Although the notion of sports handling may be slightly different for an average American ;) Not to mention that I can't get my head over the idea of a sports (or sports-like) car with an auto gearbox...

Oh, and I think the Rampage had also a sibling at Plymouth? Scamp or something.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2010, 03:46:04 PM by ImpishGrin »
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Offline MG

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2010, 05:21:43 PM »
It was a pretty good idea that suffered from poor execution. It was a trucklet based upon the Plymouth Horizon/Dodge Omni twins.



 The engine was rough, thrashy and loud and, coupled with the automatic tranny, was gutless as well. Acceleration was sort of like this.

droooooooone, {uh/gasp} drooooooooone {pant, pant, gasp} drooooooone

I actually liked the Horizon/Omni because I thought then and continue to think today that a 5 door hatchback is one of the most versatile configurations in the automotive universe. But the Rampage was essentially a 2 passenger vehicle with not enough room inside and too little room in the load bed for anything other than a large bag of dog food or perhaps a trolling motor.

The biggest flaw in the car was the transmission. It was slow and clunky and robbed the engine of whatever power it might have had. It also has wimpy springs and shocks and wallowed like a rhinoceros in heat through turns.  Outside of that, it was a great little car!    :P
« Last Edit: December 19, 2010, 05:24:11 PM by MG »
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!

Offline fyreline

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2010, 05:25:34 PM »
Quote
...and I think the Rampage had also a sibling at Plymouth? Scamp or something.

Yep. One of my fellow workers had an '83 Scamp. He took a merciless pounding for it, and when he went to trade it in on a VW the dealer offered him $200 extra off the new car if he agreed to KEEP it. I never really knew what the major complaint was against Mopar's little car/truck, but it sure seems to have been universally unloved.

Great story, though!
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Offline grobmotorix

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2010, 12:27:35 PM »
 :D

Great read, man!

Offline knightfan26917

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2010, 03:35:40 PM »

My grandparents had a 1978 Plymouth Horizon, similar to this Dodge Omni.


Cool story, MG, though I suppose that Rampage would be considered "uncool"...LOL!



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Offline Vincent Vell Vet

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2011, 12:43:50 PM »
What a fun story! You must have been beside yourself with laughter through out the whole process.
I would have taken the cash also. Even if it was for hundreds less than it's "value".  ;D

I remember seeing a couple around this area (Maine) with a fiberglass cap on the back.
That might have made them slightly more usefull as you could pile more crap in the back with out it all falling out. (???Maybe???)

At least the Brats were all wheel drive. Some or all were? can't rememberer.
Allthough those Soobie-roos rusted way worse than a Omnirizonpage.

Why am I even talking about these stupid cars?! Oh yeah, it's your fault MG, you started this!  >:(  ;D

Offline MG

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Re: We Have A Winner!
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2011, 03:22:34 PM »
Quote
it's your fault MG,

It usually is!    ;D
Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away!