Did I mention lots and lots of apologies to Dr. Suess? Good.
Now, the Lambo-Door cars,
Had doors flung up high
While the Normal-Door cars
Had door flung out wide
Lambo doors weren't so great. There were more of a pain.
You might think such a thing would be held in disdain.
But, because they raised high, all the Lambo-Door cars
Would boast, "We're the best kind of car near or far!"
With their doors in the air, they would huff and they'd puff,
"We will not hang out with that Normal-Door Stuff"
When the Lambo-Door cars had frankfurter roasts
Car gatherings, shine-ups or wine-swilling toasts
All the Normal-Door cars got heavily snubbed,
They were never invited to join their Car Club.
Then ONE day, it happened, as the Lambo-doors feared
A stranger appeared, with the brightest idea
"My friends," he yelled in a voice clear and fast,
"Your problems are now a thing of the past!
I've heard of your sorrow, your need to be fly,
I've come here to help you, I'm the Body Kit Guy!
With frightening speed, and work that was shoddy
The Body Kit Guy changed the doors of their body!
With bondo and paint and body-kit filler
The Normal-Door Cars now had doors that were killer.
The Lambo-door cars were now quite distraught
What horrible things the body kits wrought,
Hondas and Vdubs, all commoners cars
Had doors that flung high, no longer afar.
You could no longer tell, comparing the two,
Which was well-bred or what one was who.
This just could not be, it all had to stop,
When up, once again, the man he did pop,
"My Lambo-door friends", the man slyly winked
"Things are never not nearly as bad as you think."
"With a nip and a tuck and some nice fiberglass,
You too can have doors not a pain in the ass.
You too will have doors to fling way out wide.
You too can now dent all the cars by your side."
And from that great day, on the roads of this nation,
All cars were made equal, like God's own creation.
The doors of the cars on the roads that surround us,
Could be had like all others, 'cept those of a bus.
