After MUCH searching, I have uncovered a translation:
Netik 600 Czechoslovaki 1957
Introduced by Netik Motorcar Company of Gmumpf, the Netik 600 features a one cylinder, horizontally opposed 3 stroke engine displacing 200 centimeters cubed. Due to the heroic three stroke design, which combines the features and benefits of a two-stroke design, a four stroke design and a diesel configuration, the Netik engine can run on anything from potato squeezings to gnu dung. Power is directed to the left front wheel via a series of pulleys and a belt made from finest yak hair. It has one forward speed, namely "Forward" and reverse if you park it on a sloping surface.
The interior features comfortable accommodations for 11 Czechs or one Russian grandmother sitting on boards stretched across cinder blocks left over from the construction of the Grand Residence for Stateless Persons in downtown Gmumpf, but please do not tell the State Security folks, who wanted the cinder blocks to hang around the necks of dissidents before throwing them off the Great and Really Large Bridge that traverses the Zelko River and which was donated by our Russian cousins as a sign of eternal peace and goodwill.
The designer of the Netik, Broz Natinmumfchek, employed the latest Soviet styling techniques, including a windshield from an old Chris Craft that had sunk in the Zelko River 47 years ago. Comrade Natinmumfchek said the inspiration came to him one night after a being drunk for two weeks of rotgut Russian vodka. Shortly after his car was revealed to the public, he was treated to an all expense vacation in Siberia for the rest of his natural life.
Performance of the Netik was described as "lackadaisical" and "ludicrous" by automotive scribes of the era. One wag said that driving the Netik was "Better than a poke in the eye with a really sharp stick, but just barely."
This is the only surviving example of the Netik 600, as after it was built, the workers went on a rampage, smashing all the original dies and tooling with sledge hammers and dumping the resultant detritus into the firebox of the Grand People's Trash Incinerator. At an asking price of 7 slotskies, the car remained unsold for 11 years, as most felt the car was overpriced by any standard. Finally it was purchased by Bruno Sebasipol, a wealthy industrialist and merchant of potato squeezings, popularly known as Bruno the Blind, who bought the car sight unseen.
No further information is available.
Actually, the facts are stranger than this fiction.
Front engine, front drive. Rear steering by ropes and pulleys, brakes on front wheels only. It took 4 years to carefully craft this 600 cc, 20 HP beauty
