I stumbled across a page from an old publication by an epoxy manufacturer with a story about a guy named Peter Warner who built his own car out of wood (and epoxy, of course). I skimmed over the article and thought, "This would make a decent AP puzzle." A search for "Peter Warner" brought up nothing, so I cropped and prepped the image as best I could, and was just about to post it, when I realized I should probably read up on the details first. And there, near the end of the article, I see that Peter gave the thing a name--Cretino. Another quick search and here I am.

Anyway fellas, here's the story: