By James Kelly

When I was asked to contribute material for this website, my initial response to the moderator was to question his sanity.  I’m not a gearhead, so the fiberglass curves of a Corvette do not make me sweat in certain places, nor does the changing pitch of a manual transmission sound like a symphony in my head.  I do, however, have a great respect for what the industry has given to the world (and my home state), and enjoy a healthy platonic relationship with the automobile.

Looking for an angle, I realized that the car has been a veritable inspiration machine.  Whether in the promotional posters of the 1950s, with their “Boy howdy, life sure is grand when you have one of these” enthusiasm or the idea that the ownership of a certain ’58 Fury is a bit too transforming, the car as metaphor is a concept that never dies.

Nowhere is this more prevalent than in popular music.  A casual fan can probably name three car songs if pressed, even if the titles all come from the Beach Boys catalog, but let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?  Beyond the “Littles” (Deuce Coupe, GTO, Cobra and Red Corvette), past the novelty of the “Hot Rod Lincoln” and Woody Guthrie’s “Car Car” and into an area that may not be visited as often.

So… a list of some under appreciated gems from the annals of car music.  (I know, first article and I’m already trotting out the ol’ “list” column.  Give me a break, I’m new here.)

EL CAMINO by Ween

A car song that you can actually drive to, with its propulsive beat and growly vocals.  It is by turns bi-lingual, spacey and straightforward.  Bonus points for mentioning a Chevy, a Ford (Toronado) and a Chrysler (Cordoba) in the same song.

CAR SONG by Elastica

When Justine Frischmann sings, “I hardly know you, but I think I’m going to”, and “Every shining bonnet makes me think of my back on it”, she goes a looong way toward proving the old saw that “chicks dig the car…”

ONE PIECE AT A TIME by Johnny Cash

A genial rockabilly beat and clever lyrics mark this story song of a young man working on an assembly line “puttin’ wheels on Cadillacs” and dreaming of his own.  It isn’t long before he’s come up with an idea for getting it by bringing it home; you got it, “One piece at a time.”  When the vehicle is finally finished, everyone laughs at the mismatched ‘mobile except for the courthouse staff, whose hard work produces a title for the car that “weighed sixty pounds”.

DRAGULA by Rob Zombie

I like Rob Zombie.  He’s in on his own joke, not like that Manson guy.  Anyway, here we find Rob on the road, drenched in his trademark horror comic-book lyrics and 70s monster movie imagery, planning to “dig through the ditches and burn through the witches I throw in the back of my Dragula…” I picture a hot rod hearse, most likely tricked out by Ed “Big Daddy” Roth, or at least a cheesy van with an air-brushed Grim Reaper on it.  Another excellent driving song, by the way.  Just try to keep it under eighty when this is roaring loudly through your speakers.

BITCHIN’ CAMARO by The Dead Milkmen

You know this guy, or maybe you were this guy.  Either way, he is one of the legends that all young drivers witness while waiting on their own car.  Parents buy him a car, but not just a car, a muscle car.  What kind of muscle car you ask?  Why, a “Bitchin’ Camaro” of course.  Do a lyric search for this one, as I can’t do it justice by posting a few lines here.  Very funny, and just like the jock from sophomore year with the mullet and the varsity jacket, dumb and snotty.

THE DISTANCE by Cake

     “Reluctantly crouched at the starting line,
     “Engines pumping, and thumping in time,
     “The green light flashes, the flag goes up
     “Churning and burning, they yearn for the cup”

A quiet start to a eerie song, “The Distance” sets up as good old yarn about racing, but somewhere around the middle becomes a melancholy little ghost story about a driver who didn’t make it off of the track, and the lover that he’s left behind, who hopes that someday her memories will fade.  Proof that perfect little tales can pop up in the most unexpected places.

TRAMPLED UNDER FOOT by Led Zeppelin

It’s about a car.  It’s about a woman.  It’s about dirty, filthy sex.  It’s one of the best rock songs about cars or women or sex that’s ever been done, period.  Based on Robert Johnson’s “Terraplane Blues”, the song is a nasty Jimmy Page lead over some fantastic keyboard work from John Paul Jones, with Robert Plant singing one double entendre after another, comparing his woman to his car.  Unless, that is, you side with Freud and feel that sometimes, a song about a car is just a song about a car… Yeah, right.

Hopefully, this little list has at worst, entertained you for a few moments, and at best, inspired you to seek out some undervalued car songs on your own, a little “gold prospecting” if you will.  Drive hard, drive safe, and always take the road less traveled, you never know what you might find .